Intimacy with God, Part 1: What is Intimacy?

 

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This is one of 5 parts in a series of articles titled “Intimacy with God.” My personal intimacy with God has meant everything to me, so I cannot emphasize enough the power and beauty of drawing near to God in a daily, intimate relationship with Him. I hope you enjoy reading these, and enjoy drawing nearer to our gracious God, because in return He promises to draw near to you (James 4:8).

How do you feel when you hear the phrase “intimacy with God”?

Recently, a small group leader in a biblical healing class asked us this question. Understandably, it was met by some hesitation.

Two years ago, I would have felt the same uneasiness. I felt like there was a certain place a person could reach in their relationship with God, and that I had not arrived there yet. There was a place so deep, so pure, so close, so exciting, so wonderful, and so beautiful to be—and it was with God. I just knew it. So, how was I supposed to get there? Such deep intimacy with God seemed impossible! And too good to be true.

But soon, I learned with great surprise and joy that intimacy with God was true, and not only that, but it was better than I could have ever imagined.

What is intimacy anyway? I’m not asking what the culture’s definition of it is (a one nightstand, perhaps), but what the best kind of intimacy is: being close to God. This kind of intimacy is what our hearts are all longing for, whether we know it or not.

Nevertheless, instead of coming to God, we so often search in empty and barren places, in hopes that mere men or women, fame or money will fill our deepest desires.
In the Bible, the Hebrew word “yada” is used to mean “to know intimately, to understand, to experience.” (If you want to read more about intimacy with God aside from my blog post, check this informative article out.)

This “yada” is a great word to look at in our study of intimacy, because it encapsulates what we are searching for to fill our longings: someone to know us. To really know us. And to still, somehow, love us deeply, passionately, and tenderly, in spite of the dirty things we have ever done or thought.

Interestingly, the word “yada” is used both in Genesis 4:1, “Adam knew Eve,” and the many times David says “know” in Psalm 139, as in verse 1, “You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.” How is it that the same word “yada” is used for two seemingly different topics (Adam and Eve’s sex vs. David’s relationship with God)? Well, in English we have it tricky, because we have only one word for “know.”

In Spanish, for example, there are two different words for “know”: “saber” which means to know about something, like information, and “conocer” which means to really know a person, rather than just know about them. The word “conocer” often refers to knowing or being familiar with a person, rather than a surface level ability to know that, say, the capital of China is Beijing.

In a similar fashion as “conocer”, the Hebrew word “yada” isn’t your typical word for “know.” God doesn’t merely know information about us. He doesn’t simply know that we are smart or clumsy or talented or naïve. While He does know certain things about us at face value, His knowing goes far beyond the facts. He knows our hearts. Our faults. Our shortcomings. Our desires. Our longings. Our hopes. Our fears. Our dreams.

God knows every single part of us. He knows us intimately. From the beginning, He has known all about us. And not only that, but He loves us in spite of our deep failure. Because God knows us and loves so well, He made intimate knowledge of Himself and intimate communication with Him available to us through His Son’s sacrifice on the cross. Jesus paid His very own life to pull us out of the muddy pit where we have rebelled against God—all so we could come to intimately know God in a personal relationship with Him!

And this is all because God desires deeply for us to come back into relationship with Him. He desires this because knows all about us and loves us anyway. He knows us completely and thoroughly for all that we really are and all that we really do. In Psalm 139, David was well aware of God’s intimate knowledge of himself:

“You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.”

Wow! God knows us so well. These are only the first six verses of this Psalm. I encourage you to go and read the entire Psalm when you are finished with this post. It is one of my favorite Psalms, because of how close to God it makes me feel. It is so full of God’s intimate knowledge of David, which transfers to that same intimate knowledge He has of us. For example, in verses 17-18, it talks about how God numbers each one of our thoughts and regards them as precious! God is so wild about us that He would be so careful and thoughtful to do a thing like that. He so adores us and is pleased with us! (Can we just appreciate God for a moment? He is pretty sweet. Hallelujah!)

Getting to know a person is a huge part of loving that person. When you meet up with a  new friend or significant other you are dating, you naturally have a desire to get to know them more. The reality that God knows EVERYTHING about us and still hasn’t struck us with lightening bolts is pretty significant.

He is mighty, He is holy, He is just, but He is also faithful, merciful, and full of steadfast love. He desires good for us. And it is plain for Him to see that, in all honesty, getting to know Him intimately is what will do us the most good in our lives. This isn’t pride or arrogance, this is pure, honest, love. It would be selfish for Him to withhold knowledge of Himself from us, just like it would be selfish for a friend to ignore us and not keep us updated on how they are doing—how they are really doing. He allows us to get to know Him by filling us with the Holy Spirit, once we put our trust in His perfect Son, Jesus, for our salvation. He reveals to us the deep things about Himself through His Spirit inside of us!

“However, as it is written:
‘What no eye has seen,
what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived’ —
the things God has prepared for those who love him—
these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit.
The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us.” – 1 Corinthians 2:9-12

So, the Holy Spirit helps us get to know God in a deep, intimate way!

And through His Spirit, we have the ability to understand God’s primary source of knowledge about Himself: His Word! Always, always, always, go to His Word, the Bible as your safe place to get to know God with full certainty that everything in it is true. Unlike every other book in the world, the Bible has not one trace of a lie in it. God has provided His Word so we can stand our ground on what He says is true! (2 Timothy 3:16).

The Bible is powerful and God-breathed, but as we read it we must keep in mind that it is only a way of getting to know God! Getting to know God in a personal way goes much deeper than simply reading off a few verses and then rushing off to work or school. We need to not merely listen to the truth, but do what it says (James 1:22). And not only that, but we need to get to know the Truth as it really is, a person (Jesus), and get to know Him intimately and personally! Only then can we do what His Word says out of love for Him, and not out of false religion.

The truth is, you don’t get your life from the Bible, you get your life from Jesus! Here Jesus says in John 5:39-40: “You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life.”

Come to Jesus to have life! Get to know Him in a personal way, through reading and soaking in His Word, and through constant, faith-filled prayer.

For me, having intimacy with God has changed everything about my life for the better. I have always felt a deep need inside me to be loved. To be valued. Cherished. Adored. Delighted in. Important and special to someone. I have often felt that, and always thought, unconsciously, that some man out there would be able to fulfill that longing in my heart, someday.

Lately I have been pondering it more. No matter what “perfect” fantasy I have of the man I marry (when I am not taking my thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ as it says to in 2 Cor. 10:5), the Only one who can truly make that fantasy become a reality is God Himself. He doesn’t romance our hormones; He romances our heart and soul, our entire beings!

Get beyond the ideas of sex and romance culture imposes on us and listen to the heart of God, to the dream that He allows for us to come true: being intimately known and loved by Him, and given the offer to intimately know and love Him in return.

This is SO much better than earthly romance! Really. I have experienced it myself, and it is soooo true! Being laid bare before God can at first seem intimidating, frightening, and far too vulnerable, but you will soon find that your vulnerability leads to deeper trust in Him, because as it turns out, God doesn’t hurt us when we are painfully honest with Him. Instead, He leads us patiently out of our sin and into paths of life, joy, and peace, one step at a time.

I feel the Spirit weighing these words on my heart, so once again, I will say, with greatest sincerity and tenderness, Beloved: God doesn’t hurt you. He doesn’t hurt you in your honest, raw, naked moment. He knows all about you, but He doesn’t hurt you. Unlike every other human relationship, we can get close to God without Him hurting us with words or deeds at any moment. And not only is it in His entire nature to never hurt you, His child, but He graciously covers you with the blood of Jesus and fully accepts you into His family. Trust in the good Father, who wants nothing but to lavish good things on you! (Matthew 7:11)

I have come to a point where I often (not always) feel intimate with God. I am sensitive to His Spirit, and I pray to Him often. I have moments of deep peace and joy, where God lifts my burdens and gives rest to my weary soul. I have moments where God speaks to me about a specific area of my life that I need to bring to His loving gaze for mending and repair. I have moments where God reveals His truth to me in a powerful way that greatly encourages my heart.

I know God, and I love Him, and somehow He accepts me, in spite of my imperfections. Somehow He speaks to me and encourages me and helps me. Somehow He delights in me, and there are moments where I am deeply aware of His delight, and filled with His love. I am far from perfect, but God cleanses me daily through Jesus’ blood, allowing me to have unbridled, deep intimacy with Him.

It is a wonder to me that I have come this far in intimacy with Him, and yet it is not overly surprising, considering that I have often asked God for more of Himself. He is always willing and gracious to answer prayers like that, so I encourage you: press into God, and ask for more of Him in your life! You won’t be sorry you did, and I mean that with all my heart! He wants your whole heart and your full attention, Beloved. And He is so, soooo worth it!

Because I have experienced the beauty and power of being intimate with God, I want others to experience intimacy with Him, too. No longer am I bound by chains of perfectionism. It’s not about me anymore. It’s all about Him! I want others to have this, too.

Intimacy with God changes everything. Because I am in relationship with Him, I want nothing more than to know Him, to love Him, and to do what He says. And because I am in relationship with Him, I can do what He says. I have the ability! After all, I am not relying on my own ability anymore, but on His enabling Spirit that works within me day by day, by His grace alone! Praise God!!! Thank you, Jesus!!! Amen.

OK, maybe you get the idea by this time: developing an intimate relationship with God is super important. And not only it is important, it is life-changing. The God of the universe “yadas” (intimately knows) you, and now it’s time for you to “yada” Him.

So, now you might be wondering, how do I do that? How do I begin to have intimacy with God?

Well, come back next week to find out! Because this is such an important topic, I have split this topic into 5 sections: “What is Intimacy?,” “Let God Break Down Your Defenses”, “Be Totally and Completely Honest with Him”, “Want Him More than Anything”, “How to Abide, Remain, and Rest in Him At All Times.” I might change things up once I start writing, but this is what it’s looking like at least for now.

Today, begin to trust Him. Begin to get to know Him. Begin to love Him like never before. Today is the day to draw near to God, to go deeper than you ever have before! He is waiting for you. He is waiting for you with hopeful anticipation. He is waiting for you to begin your adventure and romance with Him and to continue with Him for a lifetime, and even afterwards, into all eternity.

I hope you enjoy this song, and have a Spirit-filled, intimate day with the Lord!

The Quiet Heart of A Child

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“My heart is not proud, Lord,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
But I have calmed and quieted myself,
I am like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child I am content.
Israel, put your hope in the Lord
both now and forevermore.” – Psalm 131:1-3

Calm yourselves, overthinkers. Rest, those who are weary. Quiet yourselves, those who feel condemned. There is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). You have absolutely no reason to be condemned, or to be exhausted, or to try to fix all your problems. Do NOT concern yourself with things out of your control!

Humble yourself and relax in the Father’s arms. He is really with you, holding you. Stop striving and struggling to get out of His embrace. His perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18).

You are a royal child of the King of Kings—and this is NO exaggeration! Through the shedding of Jesus Christ’s blood, you are saved from eternal condemnation. You have rest in the Father’s love. And you have the quiet assurance that God is in control of your whole life, working everything out for your good, because you love Him.

Do not belittle yourself with the uncertainty of if you love God. You know that He is worth loving. Worth serving. Worth worshipping and praising for all eternity. You know that deep in your heart. This isn’t about feeling love for Him, this is about showing up and trusting. Trust and receive His goodness and mercy. Ask for a changed heart, a quiet heart, a childlike heart. A heart that knows Him and loves Him. That’s all you need.

Put your hope in the Lord, children of God. He is a tender Father, merciful, patient, and forgiving, if we only turn from our sins and come running into His arms. Through Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection, we have fullness of life.

Relax. Completely relax as if you were a weaned child in her mother’s arms. Take a deep breath. Be certain that your Father will never let you go. You are securely attached to Him. Whatever has been on your mind bears no important in light of eternity. Your life is but a passing vapor, a mist that appears for only a second, and then disappears. He has everything under control. He is taking perfect care of you. 

Your life is meant to be lived in the presence of the Holy One.

So — Live in His presence! Abide. Dwell. Rest. Soak in the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of the Lord (Romans 11:33). Through Jesus Christ, you have everything you need, everything your redeemed Spirit-filled heart desires. Just stop paying attention to all those things that fill you with pride, and turn your undivided attention to the One who created your soul. You won’t be left empty! He has the things that have eternal weight and value. Only abiding in the Father’s love, following the good Shepherd, and living by the Spirit will have any lasting importance.

To have intimacy with Christ, is to be completely absorbed in Him. To not want anything besides Him. For Him to truly be your All in All. If you can’t say that about yourself, have no fear. As the man desiring healing for his demon-possessed son exclaimed: “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)

The Lord will help you if you only ask for help. Trust Him. Seek Him wholeheartedly. Step into the identity He has given you with full assurance that the Holy Spirit will do the rest. Step out in faith, trusting that God knows what He is doing, and He can shine His glory and power through your utter weakness. Dig into the Word; pray your heart out; listen to the voice of God. He is speaking. He answers. He cares.

“Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.” – Psalm 116:2

Don’t give up! If there seems to be a void left unfilled, a question unanswered, that is only the testing, the trying. He doesn’t always speak in the ways we expect, but He always speaks.

Have perseverance, be faithful to the One who will always be faithful to you (2 Timothy 2:13). Take heart; He has overcome the world (John 16:33). The only thing left for you to do is to overcome your unbelief. And all that requires is a simple, childlike request for more faith.

Let Him love you

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Today God just wants to love you. He sees you where you’re at right now, and His heart breaks. He doesn’t scorn you for failing to love Him; He empathizes with you in your weakness. (Hebrews 4:15)

Slow down and be gracious with yourself. Don’t be afraid to do that! You might think you would forget to follow God if you just stopped everything and let Him love you. The truth is, you would be falling into the sin of perfectionism if you didn’t stop everything and let Him love you. The truth is, we can have no part with God if we don’t let Jesus bend down and wash our feet.

“’No,’ said Peter, ‘you shall never wash my feet.’ Jesus answered, ‘Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.’ ‘Then, Lord,’ Simon Peter replied, ‘not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!’” – John 13:8-9

Let us receive all that God offers us through Jesus Christ, just as Peter did! God created us to need a whole lot of grace and tender loving care, and I know I need it far more than I like to admit it. But it’s not something we need to be ashamed of!

Come to your honest spot, letting God expose your weakness. He will accept you with welcoming arms. He wants you to let Him love on you! He longs for you to receive Him, to let Him in and sit and eat with you.

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” – Revelation 3:20

When your broken honesty leads to tears, He is with you, comforting you. Don’t think that God is too far above you to show you pity! He is closer than you dare believe, more tender-hearted toward you than you could ever imagine.

“My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.” – Psalm 51:17

God does NOT despise a broken and contrite heart! He lavishes unmerited favor on you—that’s what grace is: UNMERITED FAVOR! He favors you, even though you don’t deserve it. His perfect love casts out fear. (1 John 4:18)

Take a deep breath. The most humble thing to do is to let God love you. God weeps for us when we don’t see the Spring of Living water that He offers to us abundantly, and when we turn to broken cisterns that cannot hold water. (Jer. 2:13) Look what He offers you, Beloved of God!

Abundant, full life in Him–true love, peace, and joy! Jesus came so we could have new life springing within our hearts! (John 10:10)

If only we would listen to Him, what joy we would have! Hear the heart of God in this Psalm, longing for His people to simply listen to Him, so they may receive the goodness of His loving provision!

“If my people would only listen to me,
if Israel would only follow my ways,
how quickly I would subdue their enemies
and turn my hand against their foes!
Those who hate the Lord would cringe before him,
and their punishment would last forever.
But you would be fed with the finest of wheat;
with honey from the rock I would satisfy you.” – Psalm 81:13-16

Give Him permission to love you today. Let Him satisfy you with His love. He truly has compassion for you, and He understands your weakness. He knows that the only cure to our wandering hearts is His tenderness and mercy.

I thank God for revealing His love to me personally today! We will truly never know another love like His! Have a blessed week! ❤

A Message to The Hurting

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I want to address you, my dearest friends
The ones who hurt in ways beyond what I could ever understand.
You have experienced so much,
Wounds deeper than canyons,
Rejection shattering your trust,
Dreams left to waste.
Dignity stripped away; identity swallowed by shame.
Questions left unanswered.
Hearts that repeatedly break.

I don’t understand it all
And I can’t pretend to,
But I ache with you more than you know.
And there is One who aches for you far more than I do.
Dear friend, you are not alone.

Deep in the night when you cry,
When you stay up with your heart laid bare,
Broken,
Bleeding,
I could never be there for you in that moment;
But there is One who is and always will be
Reaching out to You.
He pleads for you, He beckons you
To come into His open arms.

This isn’t even that great of a poem but I’m just concerned right now with speaking from the depths of my heart.
All I really want is for you to know without a doubt that
He cares.
He cares for you, Beloved.
He cares about you, your pain, and your brokenness beyond your wildest dreams.
He’s an ocean of grace
So don’t be afraid to jump into it.
Receive the embrace He longs to give you.
Receive.
Release.
Rejoice.

He longs to hold you tenderly and sing over you;                                    To heal you completely, to forgive you regardless of this or that, to love you intensely.

My heart goes out to you tonight, whoever you are;
Don’t be ashamed!
God wants you to know you are His Beloved.
Your identity isn’t in what you do, but in His love for you.
Your identity isn’t in what’s been done to you,
But in His love for you.

Never say “but…”
Because He doesn’t see this or that.
He doesn’t see things the way you do.
Because of what Jesus did for you on that cross
Now He covers you.

The Lord
Completely covers you from head to foot with
Purity
Righteousness
Love
Grace
—That’s the bigger picture!

As soon as you realize You need Him
He doesn’t say “Oh, I forgot about you.”
He says, “I got you.”

The bigger picture is that
He loves you anyway.
He loves you.
Anyway.
Regardless.
Even though.
Nevertheless.

God isn’t who you think He is!
He sees that You are hurting.
He knows and sees you.
You don’t have to hide or fake that you’re all right.
He knows you’re not.
But if you release your control
And let Him hold you in His arms,
He promises you that
Everything will be all right.

He’s with you,
Even when you feel too broken to lift your face.
He’s there
Through even the ugliest, messiest moments
Loving you like you’re a beautiful treasure
Worth dying for.

And if this poem that isn’t much of a poem means anything at all to you,
Then when you’re finished with it
Talk to God about it.
About you.
About what’s really going on.

Lay your broken pieces honestly before Him,
And receive His love that
knows you fully
and cares for you
regardless of this or that.
He sees the bigger picture–
He sees you.

My dearest friends, He wants to heal you.
He is no stranger to pain.
He understands you far more than you understand yourself.
Lay it all before Him, and I promise–He will never fail you.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” – Hebrews 4:15-16 (NIV)

P.S while this poem is addressed to those who hurt in especially deep ways, we all hurt at some level or another. the world is full of hurting no matter where you turn, and we are all desperately in need of healing–whether from sin, shame, guilt, fear, despair, anxiety, depression, or loss of trust. we all need to hear the simple words “I love you” and we all need Jesus to fill in where we are weak. let your pain, your needs, and your hunger be satisfied at the foot of the cross. have a blessed day, friends! ❤

God Sees, Knows, and Cares

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Hey everyone! You may have noticed that it’s been a long time since I’ve posted, since college has kept me over-the-top busy, but I’m going to (try) to begin posting at least once a week (while hopefully continuing with my academic duties ;)). God has really been speaking to my heart lately, and I really want to share with you all about the goodness of His love that He has been showing me. I know it will do myself some good to process the things I’ve learned, and I truly hope and pray that it is a blessing to you as well. Now here is today’s post about God’s compassion, something I wrote awhile ago, but never got around to posting!

“I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.” — Psalm 31:7 (NIV; emphasis added)

How many times do we feel that God laughs at our existence? I know I have too many times. It’s so easy to imagine a great God like Him rolling His eyes at us every time we do exactly what He told us not to do.

And yet somehow… He doesn’t. The above verse describes God seeing every scab of David’s affliction, and knowing every anguish that overwhelmed this man’s soul. God saw and knew the raw, vulnerable state David was in, but David didn’t hide away. No! David rejoiced in God’s love.

Why? Because David knew that God had compassion on Him in his miserable condition.
Think about it: God showed that same compassion through His Son who died for us. We don’t need to feel hopeless that our great God knows every aspect of our lives, even our hateful thoughts. He cares for you, and offers you grace when you run after idols of selfishness, and rest when you feel anxious about final exams. We simply must lay everything before Him and be washed clean with Jesus’ righteous covering. It’s a daily exercise that will bring you so much joy!

Too many times people, including myself, can feel like death is the only way to end their anguish. That is so far from the truth! God is always waiting with an abundant supply of tender comfort to draw us gently back to Himself. Hope is only a stretch of faith away. Even when we feel at our wit’s end, by surrendering our whole lives before God, Jesus’ death can bring us the fullest life within our soul.

Whether we can completely understand it or not, God sees, He knows, and He cares. When we feel His eyes on us in the midst of our anguish, we don’t have to be ashamed or hopeless. His love is more powerful than our circumstances, letting our hearts soar above the pain around us with inexplicable peace.

Will you choose take hold of His love today?

Take a look at this song by Caroline Cobb! It has been speaking to me deeply recently, as I begin to grasp the idea that God’s presence is truly greater than anything this earth can supply. God bless you today with His tender compassion!

 

This Thing Called Hate

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Please, don’t hate.

Just listen–and care.

Even if her pride is unbearable,

the walls you’re creating

are unfair.

 

I judge and you judge;

we say a man isn’t worth enough,

when you and I are just us–

we’re just dust.

 

Is this righteous anger?

Am I right to think you’re wrong?

All the world’s a stage,

and I’m aching for change,

for the good in people to be brought out of this hate.

 

People hurt–left and right.

Deep inside

we’re in pain from the lack of grace

we give ourselves.

Your slander opens their wounds wider,

and I can’t help but wonder how you’d feel

if they died.

Would you cry?

Would you realize who they were behind their dusty eyes?

 

Please–don’t gossip.

Listen and care.

Replace walls with bridges

and stop being unfair.

We’re all only humans in need of God’s mercy and grace.

The last thing we need is this thing called hate.

 

“Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.” — James 4:11

“Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone. At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.” – Titus 3:1-5a

 

 

 

Ripples of Life

Water—
awake, alive
Tremulous, shining like the sun.

Vast—
Empty, yet full
Breathing, living redemption.

A lake that blazes;
Hopeful, joyful, beckoning
You to drink
Or to swim
Or to wade.

Freedom—
Broken, soaking the dryness,
Floating—everything;
Everything floating.

Unending grace,
A face of opportunity,
Little waves—changing, yet unchanging,
Always the same.

Ripples of life—
Stillness,
The quiet energy of water
Saving and saving,
The openness of mercy;
Don’t wait.

The lake calls out—
Raging, breaking silence,
Peace and wholeness
Washing over the stains
Of your iron shards of hate.

The lake awaits;
A shimmering dance—an endless expanse
Don’t wait—
It’s your last chance.

Hurt vs. (Godly) Regret

Hurt

Caressed by a faint little breeze

that mocks the heart of me.

Ravaged by a hurt that

takes me and

breaks me and

makes me

defenseless. At my

wit’s end, the end of me

wins me and

woos me and tries to

subdue me.

I am mocked by the breeze.

I am weak.

 

Regret

Thrown by a hurricane

that shakes the core of me.

Captured by a regret that

takes me and

breaks me and

makes me

reach for a defense. At my

wit’s end, true Strength

awakens me and

woos me to

lose me and

keep Him.

I am shaken into release.

I am free.

 

“The sorrow that God uses makes people sorry for their sin and leads them to turn from sin so they can be saved from the punishment of sin. We should be happy for that kind of sorrow, but the sorrow of this world brings death.” – 2 Corinthians 7:10 (NLV)

Is God Good?

“Why, Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?” Psalm 10:1

The beginning of King David’s lament about the world’s sorry state (continued in the rest of Psalm 10) does not stand alone. I have witnessed questioning, scattered hurt, and wonderings. I have listened to the sound of ‘whys’ and ‘what does He think He’s doing??’. It is the world’s sorry state, and people are blaming it all on God. I, too, wonder at the suffering and horror and famine and anxiety and depression and loss and the routine of meaningless schedules. I sorrow of it. But so does God, more than I could ever know. I honestly don’t know how everything works out (most of us don’t), but, when we look to place the blame, ought we to exclude ourselves?

“In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.” – Psalm 10:4

Even as Christians, it can be easy to scoff at a Jesus freak or Scripture or God Himself when we put ourselves above the King of Kings. It’s easy to blame God for the evil in the world. And Satan so heartily approves of all this. But whatever truly glorifies God we ought to honor with our thoughts, our actions—our whole hearts. We should make plenty of room for Him. We should let His goodness reign within out very beings.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” – Philippians 4:18

But the lines between right and wrong can get blurry for some people, even when they look at God’s Word, as to whether God is good. The Bible is clearly not only filled with God’s love, mercy, and forgiveness, but also with His anger, jealousy, and wrath. The devil immediately snaps into our brains with the thought, “That sounds like a human being, not God.” Especially when you come across a verse such as this, which talks about the land of Tyre’s punishment:

“By your many sins and dishonest trade

    you have desecrated your sanctuaries.

So I made a fire come out from you,

    and it consumed you,

and I reduced you to ashes on the ground

    in the sight of all who were watching.” – Ezekiel 28:18

The devastation of the country of Tyre is undeniably horrific, but if we cast our anger and bitterness on God, we aren’t stopping and realizing that it was not God’s pointless cruelty that led to this calamity, but it was Tyre’s desecration of the sanctuaries which were meant to honor God. Continue reading

“Little” Things

The little things I think of–

they’ve got to be said.

They can’t just hang in my head

like I’m already dead.

 

I’ve got to speak out;

I’ve got to come free.

I can’t carry on like this

without an identity.

 

Deep in my mind, I’m already up there

But when I open my mouth

I’m right back down here.

 

The things that I say–

they don’t mean anything

I’m just crumbling into pieces

In front of everybody.

 

I’m living it inside,

but am I living it out?

When I step in the room

do they know what I’m about?

 

Do they know I’m forgiven

even though I’m so small?

Do they know the Lord gives mercy,

once and for all?

 

You see, the little things I think of–

they’ve got to be said

Because here I am

Not dead

With these words

That bear meaning

Hanging in my head.